I’ve suffered from broken heart syndrome more times than i care to admit over this past year or so. Over a year ago I met a man that i fell madly in love with. Little did i know that he was only pretending. He was not who he claims to be. I slowly learned that he is the living embodiment of what he specifically states that he despises. And yet he hides this from everyone. He claims to want a life with me as his wife and my kids in his life. And he claimed he wanted a baby with me. He lied. He made promises upon promises but he can’t be what he hopes when a redheaded woman approached me today at the store and proceeded to explain the truth of this shameless man. He wants to be with men and he wants to shame women. My heart felt as though it had twisted and lit on fire. I found breathing was harder and everything began to spin. I never met someone so sexist or narcissistic. At times i felt he was the most amazing man and that i was so blessed. Yet i wondered how our sex life could have died. In the beginning he couldn’t keep his hands off of me. Now i realize it’s because i don’t have the proper equipment. I should’ve known when he took me to the gay bar. I should’ve known when he preferred ugly man-like women. The one girl we’ll call skanklinda, she had a bigger chin than Jay Leno. And the one woman was obese, married, and looked like shrek without the green face. He is a sex aholic that craves anything and everything. He doesn’t want commitment but feels he should pretend he wants it. I know he’s going to live out his life lonely and a bachelor without bearing any of his own kids, that he knows of. I think of him now as i lie here in bed nauseous as the days are long. I’m so utterly disgusted. I don’t know how i let him destroy my heart and teach my kids that dad’s leave. I blame myself for allowing him to convince me he really wanted in on a future with my children and I. And I am yet again in utter excruciating pain. And i know for a fact now that he cares so little that every time he left he didn’t hesitate to run to the first thing to stick it in. I just pray to God that i may heal from this broken hearted syndrome. I now suffer from high blood pressure, extreme stress on my heart, and daily vomiting. One day at a time to heal, I’ve read. Only God knows. I’ve heard some have died from this syndrome, i pray that I may over come. I’m alone now. I refuse to burden anyone with this pain,this suffering that i endure. I’ve never felt so much pain. Labor was even easier. I will lay my head down, dry my tears, pray to god, and drown my fears.